In early 2002 I was living in a fantastic place and had a very cool landlord! I was working partime in a kindergarten and life was good. I had personal things going on at the time, lie we all do. But nothing that wasn't manageable.
Then on 16th Novemeber 2002 there was the first sign of a contagious outbreak in Hong Kong SARS... Even today I am surprised to hear stories about how SARS didn't really effect anyone... Well this is super puzzling to me becuase it crippled me and changed my life as well as a lot of other people I knew. Friends had to close down their businesses and find jobs, people lost jobs and were suddenly faced with down sizing massively. My salary dropped 1/3 over night and left me with an income that barely covered my rent and bills.
Initailly the general feeling was YAY! schools are closed... Assuming it would all blow over in a week. But a week turnned into a month which turned to 3 months and suddenly the reality of when was this night mare going to end?
Eventually I had to move out of my flat. My landlord was amazing! He even offered to let me stay, but I'd laready borrowed 3 moths worth of money and now I had no choice because I was sinking into financial debt and fast! With no work and no means to find work as the part time hiring of teachers was still on a freeze as companies were trying to make up for the massive hit they took from having to close their schools. At some point, when the reality set in that I wasn't coping at all, and it was outside forces that dealt me that blow... So in my deep state of feeling worthless I started to paint... and this is when I created this beautiful dragon. I was feeling lost and like HK had let me down. I wasn't considered poor enough to apply for help but its important to remember that SARS was beyond anyones control.
So I took off to Sydney (and that's another story!)
2 years in Sydney made me realise I wasn't really very Australian and I was desparately homesick for Hong Kong. Feeling hopeless I spent all my focus painting this beautiful dragon! At the time I was struggling with where I was from... 'I didn't feel Australian and I didn't feel Chinese'
I had a confised identity crisis going on... And why was I having such a crisis of identity? I guess we all naturally feel the need to belong to something bigger than ourselves, and there are many ways to do that, maybe we cling to our nationality (but thats a tricky one for me) religion (I do believe in faith and religion but its not something I feel strongly connected to)
After a few years of soul searching and on a mission to discover myself (which invovled solo trips to Thailand) and who I am, I found everything was pointing me in the dirrection of being an artist. There became a pattern that I noticed in people, I mentioned jobs and responses were positive and encouraging, but I showed an art piece and friend and family would fall over themselves expressing true passion. I started to realise anytime I mentoned art, peoples ears would prick up and say 'you should do something with your art'
Well dear friends and family, that have been unconiously supporting me in the last 20 years! I'm here now and I'm focused and passionate and I have finally found something I believe will truly make me happy deep within my soul.
Have I found my Nationality or Religion in Art?
It's not a conventinal path, but its still a path.
come back tomorrow for a new blog 'Living in Hong Kong'.....
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